home...wait for me...

im going back on 6th of september...i gotta leave him alone in kl..he's not going back to kelantan...he gotta work...pity him...

leaving all the shit

i leave those that been making me feel like shit..no more contacting other guys that im not supposed to..im just to scared to lose nik...he's the last one and i will regret all my life if something gone wrong between us..hope my family wont object about our relationship...i also put up the hope to his family too...i really want to be with him...no body loves me the way he did...

new life with nik mohamed fardaus and the others...

i've found what i've been looking for all this while...i got what i want..he's not that perfect but perfect enough for me...he really care for me....not that easy to find someone like him nowadays...for some, they may not like him because of his past..but aq accept him the way he is...nothing in the past will effect the present..if thats was him, then i will accept it without any doubt...yeah,he's the only guy thats in my heart,my mind and my thought every single tick of the clock...i can see that he really loves me...tell me who would come to you straight after 8 hours of work just to buy you a single piece of ticket for you to go back to your hometown...who would travel through 30 minutes ride with lots of cars every night because he want to see you and don't want you to miss him...who would use their mind to think for you, take a risk for you, cook for you....not many guys in this whole wide world would done such a thing for us...that is why i really love him and i really2 don't ever want to lose him...he's not like any other guys that i've met before...that's the thing about him...next is about my brother(zikri)...he's nice...he advice me a lot...yeah, i do love him, as a brother...believe me, there's no one like him...is there anybody that's not related to you feed your mouth with their own hand? non right...even my real brother don't do that to me..he really comfort me...he took care of me as if i was his real sister...i've never feel alone ever since...he was always there for me...nik also got some other friend and cousin that i already to(jimmy, faiz, a'yie and some others)...they were very nice to me...sometimes its hard for us to get close to someone we don't know..but trust me, with all these guys, you won't feel pushed away..i just can't believe that just in nearly one month, i've gone through a lot with all these guys...yeah, they were all i can count on in this big and scary city...huhu...love all these guys a lot...god please don't separate us ever...then, these are others that i've known before i met these guys like azree, fiqry, ipin and some others...these people really help me a lot...how i wished i could pay them back...i owe them a lot..these people were like family to me...i hope life will stay like this forever...i've never think about problems at all when i'm with them...they really makes me happy...

cdey2...

cmlm ade terserempak ngan dier kat kolej..
die tgok jer...
ingat nk tgur tp xjd ar..
aq an pmpuan..
bengang ar lau aq yg nk tgur laki..
nti org ckp pe lak...
alah,lgpun die an xnk org tau..
nmpk sgt xikhlas ngan aq...
hhuuuhuhuhuuuhhu.
xske ar cmni...
geram!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hate but love

bosan3....kapel cam xkapel jer...huhu...ape aq nk wt...

jumpe kat kolej pun pndg gtu jer...

mcm xde pape relation pun...

lam fb ley melayan dak len...

bkn nyer nk jeles ke pe...

da kapel buat ar cre kapel walaupun xnk org len tawu...

geram tau x...

rase cm xbgune jer...

hhuhu...

story of my life

since i was a little girl, my life had been miserable..i often been scolded by my mum..i didnt know what i do wrong..even if other person's fault,i will be the one who would get busted..im tired of it..
well,i was born in pahang in 1992.my family was quite fine by that time..when im 3 years old, my family got broke n we moved to johor bharu.we lived at my aunty's house for about 6 month if im not mistaken.i was often bullied by my cousins.i still remember they lock me up in the toilet at night without light. i was scared.i push the door,then suddenly they open it without any warning..i fell down and my head hit the ground..it really hurts..i was hurt physically and emotionally..then, my father got a rental house to live..it was just a small house but its enough for the five of us to live..one day, we went back to their house for a visit..gladly those bullies were out..but unfortunately,something really bad happen to me..as we were crossing the road,i let go off my mothers hand.without noticing theres a car coming up,i ran to cross the road and i was hit badly by the car..i as floating in the air and bump onto the car..i was badlu injured..i was taken to the putri specialist hospital..they said i was in 50-50 condition..i was about to die..half-right off my body was seriously damaged..thankfully,Allah still want me to have a life..so im alive..but my right eye cant see and my right ear cant hear..i was in icu for 8 days..i was in coma throughout the days...when i get to my sense, i cant stand and i cant walk..i thought i was capped but they said i need a little practice as i was lying on the bed without any movement for 8 days..my parents had to pay rm8000 for the cost..they blame me for all that happen..nothing i could do or say..then,time goes by..as i said before,i often get scolded..they really do blame me about the hospital cost..cuz there goes their savings..while living in that rented house, i got two very close friends tha is eka roziana and mohd asyraf..they were such a good friends..we went to kindergartens together n sit in class together too..in the evening we play games together..but then.when i was in standart3,i got to move to gelang patah cuz my dad got a new job there..i got to leave my lovely friends there..it was sad though but im also excited to meet new friends there..well,i got there and the place is not so nice and the people was not so nice..this where i started to be a bad girl..haha..i met this boy..he was one year lower than me..cute but very naughty..we play bycicle,badminton,computer games and alot of things together..but when i was in standart6,i got to move to miri sarwak cuz my dad got a new job there..once again i had to leave my friend..when i reached miri,its not a bad place anyway..i get close friends..when i was still in standart 6,i was in love with this boy named adam,we couple for a few month before i found out he was dating other gurls..it hurts but life must go on..i throw away the necklace he gave me on my birthday so that nothing would remind me of him...then in form one,at first,i was a good girl..but then a turn into a bad one..at the end of the year until form two,i become a smoker and i drank alittle..butit does not effect me at all..by that time,i was in relationship with this guy named stanley ricky..a very big guy with a very big love..in the middle of form 2,something really2 bad happen to my family..my mother found out that my father was married to other women..my mum told me about it..i was not able to cry at that time..i was stunned.but she said i am not sensitif and thati does not have a feeling..how could she say that to me..i just dont want her to be even more sad as she look at me crying..i was really hurt by what she had said..it really teared up my heart..then, my mum decided to move back..by the time we about to go to the airport..i hug my dad..he told me to study..i cant stand my feeling..but i tend not to cry cuz theres no use of crying..it wont stop me from going..i really love my dad though..then i arrived at gelang patah..thats where my life become way too miserable..i keep on backup my dad but as theydont like it,they keep on pushing me aside..as if im not even exist in their family..i ran away from home..i sleep at my neighbour's house..i was sad..i cant stand it..then the police brought me back home..she took my phone and wont let me go out of the house..i dont know what to do anymore that time..thank god i entered technical school in form4 and form5..then i went to plkn..haha..nice journey there..then i ran away from home again two weeks before i entered kptm kl..yeah,i went to my spouse (wan)house..his family knows me alot so there was no problem..i slept there for about three days two nights..nice sleep..haha..then here i am in kptm living my own life here..im happy with my life right now..my housemate were all so nice and understanding..i love them all..but at times,wan keep on making me felt like shit..but then,there came iswandi to comfort me..i got a brother here..a very nice one..his name is radhi helmi razali @ kechik..he is so cute and funny..he really makes me happy..i love him so much.. wonder if he is my real brother..it would be fun..hehe..what a dreamer am i..tats all i got for now,,then i got a best friend that somehow care about me..he is azfar..eventhough sometimes i hate the way he act but he comfort me alot..thats all i got for now..